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ONE THING I REGRET - By Nnadi Obioma

Ifunanya was everything I ever wanted in a damsel, if I were to conceptualize a million lists of my uttermost desires in a lady, she would score a billion out of a million. She unarguably was the other side of the coin of my life so much that I sometimes doubted her existence and thought I had manufactured her in my dream. Ifunanya is beauty personified, her charisma was irresistible, she was a dream of many dudes in the street of Warri, when she sings, she does so with all her being, her dance steps are wonderful, if it were in the olden days African Traditional settings where men choose wives during dancing contests, the princes of great kings would have been her suitors, how I was fortunate to win her heart still remains a mystery yet to be unveiled by any man born of a woman on earth, I could recall vividly how my friend Festus behind me unsuccessfully wooed her for months even when I was too far to suspect any foul play.

Ifunanya was an inspirations and motivation to me, my character flaws were always an opportunity to teach me new lessons on becoming a better person especially as a future father and husband. Ifunanya was my first success and doom in love affair. Our love story if scripted by a talented script writer would produce an international award winning film. You may not believe me, but the truth is that I lack enough words to describe her person.

Living without her brought me incredible and unbearable pains, pains that turned to be my greatest teacher as far as love is concerned; experience they say is the best teacher, indeed it was a pain that opened my blind eyes to the wake of reality and possibility.

Our baby love moved smoothly till the enemy called distance separated us from each other at the time I could not meet financial and material needs as a damsel paving way for the bigger boys to penetrate through the broken walls. I yearned for her forgiveness knowing that losing her was my fault but all efforts to win her to my side again were like hitting my fist on a truck, then it dawned to me that the girl I truly love has been brain washed by the money bag dude together with their seasoned tongue.

Even though I lost her I still love every element of her soul passionately and secretly prayed for just an opportunity to shower her with genuine love that cannot be purchased in any of the best shopping malls in the world, I could still fill her presences in my dreams, however my wish died when I heard of her white wedding directly from her, I was ill, lost in anger and trapped in my greatest circle of fear, what I sincerely wanted had been taken away from me. I was getting thinner each day because of thought, my appetite for food was drown in the ocean of thought, I fell ill, an illness that not even the best physician can diagnose, living a secluded life became the best option because the heart break was too much for my age, I continued to live in melancholy till I met Mr. Fred. Mr. Fred is an old friend, though he was over ten years older than me we related like pals of same age grade.

Mr. Fred noticed my countenance and immediately knew I was bothered, he had known me for a long time so detecting my mind isn’t a difficult task to him anymore, he took me to our village stream where he made sit with him by the bank of the dream. He inquired of my troubles; he isn’t a stranger to me so I had no option than to tell him everything at least he had been a good friend and counselor to me over the years. I told him how my love for Ifunanya started back then in secondary school and how Ubong my friend brought us together when he noticed our love for each other and my inability to express my feelings to her, I wasn’t scared of approaching her but I was afraid of one thing- the same thing that had just happened.

After patiently listening to my story, Mr. Fred took a deep breath and looked straight into my eyes, he asked me if I could be bold enough to tell God if I die now that I died because of a girl, he also asked me if I was willing to forfeit my bright future because of a beautiful girl who will become an old woman tomorrow. He told me that life is filled with disappointments and sometimes we experience them so that we can realize that man is not worth earning our trust. He advised I concentrate on my future which is more important, he told me that if I follow excellence success will chase me pant down, that way if she meets me tomorrow she would see a reason to have waited patiently for me, however if I die thinking of her or ended up not being successful in life, we will forever remain grateful to God for not allowing her waste her precious life and time waiting for me. He also told me that it may not be the will of God for us.

These words of wisdom from my friend gave life to my dead bones and courage to stand to my feet again. Before I was discouraged but after his seasoned words I knew it was time to gather my broken pieces and let the world know that no man has the right to hijack my peace and joy.

After my entire trauma, my consolation is that though Ifunanya took her love away from me, she did not take my life, our little love was fun, dying slow emotionally  because she left me is the only thing I regret.


ABOUT THE WRITER

Nnadi Obioma Emmanuel is a graduate of Architecture and a Deacon with the Redeemed Christian Church of God. He is a speaker in conferences and other gatherings.

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