Moonlight Publishing

A GOOD MAN'S GUILT - By Joshua Joseph

"So much money and then what, a big ass house and all I could ever want but no one to share it with, yep its time to get myself a wife". Kayode thought to himself, as he drove off, he had been to his friend tayo's house and tayo's wife asked him a question he hadn't really thought of answering before, "when are you going to get yourself a wife? And as he drove, he thought about it, he's wasn't getting any younger and he had all he had need for, so it was time, kayo wasn't one to waste time on anything, so he quickly went to work, thinking of who he felt the most for and truly there was no question, kayo had been with many women but when it came to real, there was only one possible candidate, me, we'd known each other since childhood and there was always a spark between us, he was my Spiderman and I was his Gwen Stacy but I was a devout Christian and he? He was a drug dealer, and  knew that, I wasn't happy about it but that was his choice, hard as I tried he wouldn't change, he'd seen too much suffering as a child and there was no way he would give up anything that got him wealth, no matter how bad it was.

Kayode musthave thought for only a minute before he decided to call me up, we set up a meeting and i waited in anticipation.

On the day of the meet, we talked and kayo expressed his desire for marriage to which i gladly accepted with the condition that he would change his business.

Three months later, we got married despite the warnings from my friends and family, but life was bliss, until two years passed and then one night while sleeping, I heard a sharp sound followed by broken glass and then boom!! An explosion rocked my house, I screamed off the bed and ran straight to my daughter's room, a grenade was thrown into my living room and above it was my daughter's room, she was barely a year old when they took her from me, I held my daughter for less than a minute when kayo dragged me off and out the back door in anticipation of a second attack which was well founded cus by the time they were done, my entire house was a pile of rubble, we were out then though but my daughter was at the bottom of it.

In my grief I ignored the fact that kayo had promised to get out of that life and broke it or the fact that he had decieved me for over two years, or the fact that the whole thing was his fault, the only thing I was interested in was revenge and I held his hand and made him swear to get it, I wanted to be the one to pull the trigger and he made it so, it took him six months to do so but he did, one night he came home while I was asleep and woke me up, took me to my living room where I gazed on the man that killed my child, I took the gun and with a solid grip and a firm resolve pulled the trigger.

Joy siezed in our household but I didn't care, nothing moved me anymore, I spent my time in regret, I loathed kayode for what he did to me, my life was over and it was his fault, I was misguided by his gentle nature, his love for me, the fact that I knew deep down he was a good man, men don't change, if he's good he's good and if he's bad he's bad, I married with hopes that kayo would change for me but I was wrong, I canged for him.

Vice is a monster of such awful mein, that to be hated needs but to be seen, but seen too often familiar with his face, first we endure then pity then accept.

I accepted kayode for who he was and then I became him and worse, I became worse, I joined the business and became even more fierce, the boys gave me more loyalty than him, they were more scared of me because of the things I did, the business flourished and i flourished with it, I stopped going to church, sought comfort in drugs, alcohol and sex.

The business thrived under my leadership and pretty soon the entire city was under our control until a local church got angry and they made some prayers against us, that was it, I knew all too well the power of GOD  so I knew it was over, business died, our boys were killed horrendously, not one escaped, my husband was gunned down by a rival gang and I am struck with cancer, I will die soon, but looking back ....... My life has been wasted, I wonder what my baby would think of me, what the grief of her death made me become or rather what I did to myself by marrying based on a promise either way I will soon find out. My name is Aisha and this is my guilt.


Am an aspiring writer and I hope that this story will attest to my talents

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